I choose Dare...

To any queer teens reading this, you are loved and cared for by so many people you haven't even met yet. If you see me in person and need a hug, I got you.

This picture was taken in May 2023 when I got matching rainbow & pink hair with my youngest child just in time for pride!

I realized that I was not straight when I got dared to french kiss one of my friends during track and field. Kissing her felt lighter and a little confusing. I hadn't kissed a lot of people at that time, and it wasn't even the first time I was kissed by a girl... but I found myself choosing dare every time after that hoping I would get dared to french kiss a girl. This added another layer of my true self I had to keep hidden because if I was already being bullied for just simply existing, I would have been bullied even more if people knew I wasn't straight living in a small town in Alberta. I saw how my peers were treated if they were openly gay. I often thought I was bisexual but would be told it's not a thing and you "have to pick a side" or "you can't have it both ways." I remember feeling like I just loved humans and I liked people for who they were, not necessarily what they looked like. There wasn't a lot of positive queer representation growing up. Xena and Buffy were the two shows I watched that had the most queer representation, but never bi or pan. I remember when Brokeback Mountain came out and I watched that movie every chance I got when it was playing on cable tv. Finding RENT was another big moment for me, but what really opened my young queer heart was watching Rocky Horror Picture show. Tim Curry as Dr. Frank N. Furter made me feel and questions so many things. I didn't really explore more of my sexuality outside of movies and TV until I was in university, and even then, I didn't really understand how experimental I was until I spoke with other friends, and they didn't do the same things I was doing.

Realizing now that I am non binary/fluid (I'm still figuring this out) and pansexual gives a lot of clarity to my feelings as a kid and teen. I had horrible body dysmorphia. I had frequent thoughts that I didn't feel like a girl and maybe I was supposed to be born a boy, but that didn't feel right either. I hated my breasts and the attention they got. I often imagined cutting them off. I preferred to wear boys clothes, jeans and band t shirts, but I did like to dress up every now and then. I often felt in between. I was often told I needed to dress more like a girl, and you're in high school now, you should be wearing more skirts and dresses. The more I was told to do it, the less I wanted to and I started to repel any form of femininity because it always felt forced.

I sort of lived in a small bubble even though I didn't grow up in a religious household. It wasn't until the past 5+ years that I truly realized how queer I was with more time I spent in queer spaces, in person or online.

I've never really felt the need for a big "coming out." I changed my pronouns on my social media, and started sharing more queer content. I'm in a straight passing marriage with two kids, most people wouldn't know unless I told you. *About one month ago, ironically during pride month, I had a really great conversation with a community member who considers themselves conservative, about the anti-trans policies being pushed in Alberta. Their sources of information were the local news, American news outlets, and social media. The narrative being there is a gay agenda being pushed on kids in schools, and doctors are making permanent sex changes for children. I then shared with them the information I had on the subject as a former teacher in the Public and Private school systems, a parent and VP of my children's School Council, and as a non binary individual. They said "I had no idea you were non-binary. I never would have known had you not told me." They agreed with a lot of what I shared in our conversation. They said that their lack of interaction with other groups of people made it difficult to hear view points other than the far right or far left on social media and in the news.

It got me thinking that if we all treat others with respect for being a human being first, maybe then we can hear each other's views and belief's without demonizing one another if they are not the same. In a perfect would I guess there wouldn't be racism, sexism, classism, etc. I've always been told I had a bleeding heart and the world doesn't work that way. Well, to that I say, Why not?

Be queer, stay weird and love hard ♡

*this was now over a year ago because this post was sitting in my drafts.

I feel that this post needs an update since the UCP government in AB has decided to target Trans youth, and more so, Trans girls, teens, and athletes with Bills 27 & 29. These bills are active as of today, September 1st, 2025. These bills go against medical professionals and teacher's insights and knowledge. With back to school happening now, I fear for the students who's only safe place was school because their family at home don't accept them for who they are. Teacher's are being told they cannot use student's preferred pronouns and names without parental consent, yet to gain consent for some students, this would inflict a lot of consequences for the student if their family does not accept them for who they are.

Teachers, I wish you the best this school year with the lockout/strike and the introduction of these awful bills. We rallied, wrote letters, called offices, and more but the UCP will only ever feed their own agenda and pockets, even if it means risking the lives of vulnerable youth.